Among other things, extroverted people get energy from being with other people and introverted people are just the opposite – they can feel exhausted by being too much with other people.   They prefer to think before talking.   When asked what they would like from their extroverted co-workers, the most common response from quiet people is that they wish that extroverts would talk less, so that the introverts could think and have a chance to formulate a response.     Probably all of us have been in a meeting where someone who seldom speaks says something and it is really worth listening to.    Extroverts will often be thinking out loud as they are talking whereas the quiet people like to think things through before they say something.   Generally speaking, organizations often depend on quiet people to do things right and take care of the details, but their great ideas do not always get showcased.   

There are some good tips for the quiet people, such as planning ahead before a meeting or conversation, or perhaps joining a speakers group to gain more skills and confidence while “thinking on their feet”.   However,  perhaps there are tips that we could  also give to the extroverts to result in more contribution from everyone.  It starts with awareness of how others prefer to contribute.   For example, providing others with details on what will be expected before a meeting can help.  Many times it can work better in a meeting if people are teamed up in pairs or small groups to discuss a topic and have someone present back rather than putting everyone on the spot.    In the smaller group, there is a better chance for a quiet person to  state their ideas.    

Some of us can swing from being a quiet person to an extroverted person or vice versa, depending on the situation.  It is worthwhile to notice when that happens and to plan for the situation.     Generally, if we are more familiar with a topic and the people involved, we tend to be more talkative.   

Maria

But does that really say anything about who we are?    Wouldn’t it be interesting if we picked one important piece of who we are as a person and stated that instead.   “Hi, I’m ….. and I really enjoy …..   .   Or I’m ….. and the thing I am most excited about right now is …..   

Imagine how much more quickly that connections with others would occur.     For example, if you told me that you were most excited about an upcoming trip, how could I  resist from asking you about it and striking up a conversation?   Compare that response to what happens when you state your name and where you work.   Sometimes people will ask more about what you do, especially if they know the company, but it is more of a struggle to get that connection going. 

With social media, we accomplish some of this through Facebook or Linkedin , when people read your profile or Wall.  However, when we meet in person, we tend to default back to the formal and boring introduction.  

Next time you are in a group setting with new people, try to give others an interesting tidbit about yourself as part of your introduction and see what happens.   Then ask them what they are excited about right now!

Maria

I would like to offer another way to figure out where we should focus our efforts in order to enjoy our work.   Think about what the purpose of your work is.   Purpose is the knowledge and recognition that you are doing something that is making some kind of difference that we think is meaningful.     I also refer to this as Contribution.  It is helpful for leaders and managers to discuss this and reinforce the contribution or purpose that each person fulfills in the organization.   Peers should also acknowledge contribution to each other.  There are various levels of purpose that can be examined, from the whole company level down to team level.  Interestingly, people often become more passionate about their work when they figure out how they contribute to some larger purpose, as long as that purpose has meaning to them.  So passion can follow purpose. This doesn’t have to be about saving the world.  The other day I heard about a carpetlayer who had been doing his job for 30  years and said he had always been happy at his job because he felt like he was contributing something positive to how people felt in their environment.

Should you quit your job if you don’t feel like there is any purpose in it?   Well, maybe, maybe not.  Before you do that, perhaps ask others what they think your purpose or contribution  is and see what they say.   Sometimes, hearing others tell us that we are doing something worthwhile helps us to see that and feel motivated about it.   This may also help us to re- focus our efforts on where we contribute best.     Another option is to notice if another role in the organization is more aligned with how we think we can contribute.   If you are managing others, help your team members to understand and articulate their contributions. 

Daniel Pink  has a new book out called “Drive”, where he talks about Purpose as one of 3 key motivators in the workplace.   http://www.amazon.ca/Drive-Surprising-Truth-About-Motivates/dp/1594484805/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1321043843&sr=8-1

So where does willpower have importance?    Well,  one key element of willpower is the ability to manage one’s thoughts and control behaviours that you might later regret.    These are key elements of emotional intelligence as well.    The ability to avoid impulsive behaviour by understanding the thoughts and feelings that lead up to it, is extremely powerful.  People often do not recognize the triggers that cause them to give into impulses that they later regret.    However, they can learn how to not only recognize the triggers but also to plan strategies in advance to avoid the impulsive behaviour.      This takes practice and can also be helped by working with a professional who can assist with uncovering the clues and following up with the client on successes and challenges.

Anyhow, as we go into a New Year,  think of one impulsive habit that you would like to change.   Next time you feel it coming on, notice what triggers it and the resulting feelings that you usually respond to.  See if you can observe instead of acting.

Here is a link  that expands on this topic.  http://www.faceoff.com/marshmallow+principle/5787154/story.html

Happy New Year!

I have to be conscious that I am a Boomer and was raised in an era where we didn’t even have e-mail until I was well into my career.    I am therefore not a “Digital Native”  and have somewhat adapted to technology as it has occurred.       However, I do think there are some common human reactions to communications.      A basic rule should be  “How would I feel if this message came via text versus in person?”    Also, does this topic need discussion?  Is it controversial?      Am I trying to establish a relationship?

Unless you are just downloading information or facts to someone else,  the absence of emotional context in an online conversation can be a problem.     In face to face conversations, we can judge by body language and tone of voice what the other person might be feeling about the situation and they do the same for us.      Research shows that only 10% of what we communicate is through the words.  

Here is a great article that expands further on this topic.  http://www.6seconds.org/2011/02/11/tools-for-workplace-communication/

Maria

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/careers/management/morning-manager/making-the-most-of-coaching/article2251237/print/

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The article presents conflicting views about whether this is good or bad.   The women say they are happier because they can live their life easily and spend time with their children as well as have part-time jobs that they enjoy.     The opponents feel that highly educated women are not using the talents that they have, and also perpetuating lower pay for women in the workplace.

I am curious to know if the Dutch men are also the “happiest in the world”.    Do they welcome the fact that their wives can spend more time at home?   Perhaps this frees them up to focus more on their work  since they have more support at home and this takes us back to a time of more “traditional” roles?   Or do they also long to work part-time and feel envious?   Would they also like to pursue this option?

I would also like to know if Dutch companies are much more amenable to higher paying jobs being split into part-time job sharing or other arrangements.    Certainly, we have a long way to go on that in Canada.  It is uncommon for most employees to find rewarding part-time positions except in certain fields.     In some cases, full-time employees can negotiate a part time position after being with a company full-time for awhile, but to start and continue a career as a part-time employee is very rare.   Then there’s the issue of income and benefits. It would be important for companies to provide some level of benefits for part-time employees, but it is understandable that they could not provide 100% of the benefits of a full-time employee.

Of course, higher level part time jobs would also be attractive to older employees.   This could go a long way towards preventing a labour shortage and also help older people to continue with productive lives.

So my key question is  ”Why has our society and industry decided that you have to work full-time to have a fulfilling job and career?” If you scan any job site, and select “part-time”, you will see primarily low-paying, casual jobs.

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Maria

In my business, I often encounter people who have difficulty getting started or completing important projects.   Some people are naturally more organized than others, but everyone can learn some basic tools to help get things done.    Here’s a few ideas that I have found to be very helpful.

Write things down:  Things that are written down are far more likely to be completed.   Even the act of writing them down helps us think them through.    First, write down your key goals, then write down all the things that need to be done to complete the goals.    When things are vague, we can never get started on them.   Physical writing seems to work best for many people since it somehow activates the brain in a different way than on the computer.  

The Swiss Cheese Approach:  Divide goals and projects into smaller bites: People often become discouraged and intimidated when they look at a huge project.  Then they continue to proacrastinate and the project becomes even more ominous as deadlines approach.  Pick smaller  parts of the project to start on, and then see some accomplishment, and this sense of accomplishment encourages you to do more.    With the Swiss Cheese approach, it is like creating “holes” in the project to  reduce the total size.   

Start the day with task that you most dread:   This is a very powerful psychological tool.    We get a significant lift from accomplishing these difficult tasks and the rest of the day usually is full of energy.    Contrast this with the opposite where we put off the dreaded task.  However, we keep thinking about it and it drains our energy all day as the dread and anxiety builds up.    Then people often end up doing something late in the day that is not their best work since they are tired and anxious. 

Watch out for technology time wasters:      A key principle here is that e-mails and social media will expand to fit whatever amount of time that you allow them, thus taking you away from more important things.      People often get caught in the trap of thinking that the faster they respond to e-mails or other online communication, the more efficient they will appear to others.   The fact is that when you respond quickly, you get more questions back more quickly and the cycle just speeds up, creating more e-mails.   Set expectations for others that you will respond within 24 or 48 hours and then check only a couple of times a day.  You can then select emergency items and respond to them sooner if necessary.   Then set aside a specific time to respond to the others.   Turn off your e-mail notification when you are working on other things so that you will not be distracted every time you receive an e-mail. 

 ”Eat that Frog” by Brian Tracy has some great tips on moving forward with both personal and professional goals and is written in a clear, concise style that is easy to read. “  http://www.amazon.com/Eat-That-Frog-Great-Procrastinating/dp/1576754227

Maria

Some people will say that older people are set in their ways and unwilling to change.     This can happen but many times it is a result of a workplace that has shoved them aside and not given them opportunities where they can grow and learn.    One of the most destructive policies can be the “forced rankings” on the perfomance reviews, where older workers are rated lower since it is thought that there is no reason to motivate these people any more since they are going to retire in a few years anyhow.     Since the company has budgeted for only so much salary increases, they want to give them to the younger workers to keep them motivated.     Another common issue is that older workers may be at the top of their paybands already and so the company thinks it best to encourage them to leave as soon as possible so their jobs can be filled by younger, perhaps lower paid workers.   For the older worker, less salary increase is often not so much of the issue as the lower ranking on their performance without valid cause.

Many older workers would love to have a part time or flexible job arrangement where they are respected and valued.  When some of them are able to find this, they have a new energy for their work and the company has retained valuable talent and work ethic.  Many of these people are thrilled to mentor younger employees as well.   Others hang on in full-time positions because they want to continue working  but do not have the choice of doing part-time work that uses their skills.   They long for more freedom or chances to learn, but they may stay on and “check out”.   

In summary, the best organizations will have the energy and growth provided by younger workers and the stability and experience from older workers, in addition to the middle generations who are the core of the company.         

Here’s an interesting link to a Calgary Herald article called “In Praise of Older Workers” . http://www.calgaryherald.com/news/todays-paper/praise+older+workers/4893882/story.html

Maria